Sunday, January 27, 2008

Long Live The Resolution

Now that I've tackled the wallet, purse and keychain, I can't put off my organizational dream any longer. The wallet is well in hand, my purse is smaller and I now know the purpose of every single key on my keychain, having tossed all 6 of the mystery keys.

I think I’m going to start somewhat small, the large file cabinet in the office has been driving me a bit mad for some time and as I’m here at the computer, it’s kind of looming over me right now. It may not seem like a major project, but trust me on this one. With a deep, cleansing breath and a slight dash of fear, I open the first drawer. Or I attempt to, it seems terribly resistant to the impending purge. Oh dear…it’s with a sinking heart that I realize the file cabinet has been locked, likely by one of my well intentioned, button happy children. Examining the lock, the sinking feeling is intensified by the fact that I know exactly where the necessary key currently resides…the landfill. Okay, this is a minor setback, I can deal with this. Calling the local office supply store is no help at all, this kind of file cabinet hasn’t been made over twenty years and they don’t even know if the company is still in business. Fine, I’ll take care of it myself. Two hours later, cranky, sweaty and finally having wrestled the lock mechanism out of its natural resting place, the damn file cabinet is open and will never lock again. I have managed to use a hammer and screwdriver to punch the lock out and disable it, yippee. I think I need to remind myself why this whole thing is a good idea.
Breathe, deep cleansing breaths and remember the Zen bedroom. That is the goal. A spotless, organized and perfectly color coordinated house is going to make everyone’s lives better, happier and more productive. Okay, the goal again clear in my mind, it’s time…I will not be defeated by a project as small as a filing cabinet. Three hours pass and I’m sitting on the floor of the office surrounded by every official looking piece of paper we’ve been sent since the day we got married…twelve years ago. This has GOT to be my husband’s doing, I’m pack-ratty about sentimental stuff, he’s paranoid about someday needing the insurance policy on a car we haven’t owned for nine years. I’m really not even going to ponder the need for saving a printout of every stupid email forwarded to him since the inception of the internet. Or the pile of equally inane faxes of dirty jokes, lame cartoons and the like.
Three hours and I’ve only made it through the first drawer. This is going to take longer than I thought, time to abandon this one for the day.

LATER
Fine, I'm not going to put it off, I will not let the first project send me back into the dangerous land of procrastination, I have lived there far too long. Time for another deep cleansing breath and:

This project totally sucks. Just letting you know that this file cabinet could actually be a deal breaker on the whole organizational odyssey I’ve set myself. Finally got through all the drawers and had stuff sorted into piles…”KEEP”, “THROW” and “CONSULT WITH THE HUSBAND”. That third pile was my first major mistake, I might have been drinking a teensy bit tonight when I decided to let him anywhere near my precious piles. Suddenly, the “KEEP” pile is towering dangerously close to the top of my head, the “THROW” pile has magically shrunk to the instruction manual for a long dead VCR, three envelopes containing offers to refinance at ridiculously low rates, a phone book from 1979 and the owner's manual from a 1976 AMC Gremlin. How did this happen? I’ll tell you how, in a burst of wine-induced pride, I decided to show my beloved how much progress I’ve made and may have casually mentioned that one of the piles needed his attention. Silly, silly slightly tipsy me. Here’s today’s question: Do I go with my original plan and toss the lot or do I save the mountain of absolute crap he thinks we’re going to maybe possibly need after we’re dead?

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