Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Oh, One Other Thing

I don't usually get too political here, but I did a bit of math today. For your consideration:

700 Billion dollars =

$66,363 for every household in the U.S.
OR
$2338 for every man, woman and child in the U.S.
OR
$9333 for every K-12 student in the U.S.
OR
$38,888 for every college student in the U.S.
OR
$100,000 for every teacher in the U.S.
OR
$63,636 for every uninsured child in the U.S.
OR
$940,860 for every homeless person in the U.S.
OR
$700,000 for every child in foster care in the U.S.
OR
$187,667 for every family living below the poverty level in the U.S.
OR
$28,000 for every living Veteran in the U.S.
OR
$7,188,186 for every public school (K-12) in the U.S.

Holy crap, how's that for economic stimulus?

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

That's right folks! It almost here, it's just around the corner, it's looming ever closer so I hope you're ready! Christmas is coming!!! Woohoo. You read right, Christmas. I was in at the evil empire (You know which store I'm talking about...they've taken over the world) the other day and was completely dismayed to see Christmas items on display already. I'm not talking about a kit to mull your own home grown wine (what is mulling anyway?) after growing the grapes yourself, that would make sense as you'd need some time for that project. I'm talking about decor, clothing and the other accoutrements of the season. It's all readily accessible in the aisle behind the Halloween items. Of course, we all bought everything we'd need for Halloween in June, right? And we did our back to school shopping in March. Our Mother's day shopping was finished by New Year's and we all had Valentine's covered by September...sure we did. We're THAT organized.
What happened to the natural progression of the calendar year? Once upon a time, there was a rhythm, a pattern, a schedule even. We used to shop for school stuff in August, Halloween stuff in October and only the TRULY organized had their Christmas shopping done by the end of November (and none of us like those people anyway). Are we so busy that we have to start shopping for the holidays months in advance? Is this actually a plot by the evil empire to make us spend more money? I don't know about anyone else, but if I shop that far in advance, I tend to forget what I've bought and where the heck I hid it. THAT'S IT! I just figured out the plot...crafty, crafty retail industry. They convince us to buy so early, banking on us forgetting who we've bought for and where we've hidden the items so we are then sucked into doing our shopping twice. Oooooh, aren't they clever? Now that's I've figured it out, what do I do with this dangerous knowledge? How do I save the world before the minions of the evil empire come for me? I'll have to hide, change my name and appearance every few months so I can continue to spread the word.
We all know the holidays have become far too commmercial. I mean honestly, do you think Washington and Lincoln did all the things they did so car dealers could have a "President's Day Blowout" on all new and gently used vehicles? Are we to believe that St. Valentine REALLY wanted us to buy diamonds to commemorate his existence? And when did Memorial Day become the opportunity to get the best possible deal on a new RV? Kind of violates the spirit of THAT day, doesn't it?

I'm hiding in my room until the Easter items hit the shelves, sooooo...January is it?