Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Mutants Among Us

I have been horribly neglectful over the summer but I did have a really good excuse. Moving is a royal pain in the butt although there is an upside, I mostly know where all my stuff is...kind of. We have unpacked most of the boxes, gotten rid of the majority of the crap and learned a little physics long after it would have helped my GPA...the space you have is the space you fill. This is the lesson in moving, if you only have a tiny bit of a house, you don't buy so much useless junk because you have nowhere to put it. On the flip side, when you have five bedrooms and a full basement, you ALWAYS have somewhere to put that latest piece of plastic whatsis. Never again!

As we're settling into our new digs, everyone is adjusting well, animals included. The cats LOOOOOOVE the carpeted stairs and think they've found the scratching post mothership. The ill fated schefflera tree has not fared as well, it seems to be a bit depressed and has managed to drop what few leaves were left on it in some sort of post move hissy fit. I'm liking just about everything about the new place save one...a nest of mutant bees that are living in a crack in the foundation underneath the front steps. Mutant? you say...yes indeedy. We have unloaded the full Raid (tm) arsenal upon their litle bee heads to no avail. We turned to our friendly neighborhood hardware store and purchased a large can of God knows what and unleashed it all at once into the crack, nothing. My husband brought home something unpronounceable from work (we works for an agricultural chemical'd think they'd know their stuff), sprayed the foundation and warned us all not to go outside or breathe near the windows for several hours, assuring us we'd die the same swift death the bees were suffering. Not so much. I have come to believe these are radioactive superbees that originated somewhere around area 51, I can hear them laughing at night. My beloved has now decided that he's going to wait until the bees are all in the nest when it's colder outside and seal the crack. Here's my worry, the mutant, radioactive, area 51 superbees are going to find another way out of the nest, perhaps using power tools and that new exit will be into the house itself, taking over the house, eating all my food and running up my cable bill after buying pay-per-view sports events. These are the things keeping me up at night.