Sunday, February 22, 2009

Crossing To The Dark Side

It's happened, I have given in, lost my way, crossed over to the dark side and joined the legions of those I once reviled. I bought a cell phone, my transition is complete. I simply could resist no longer, they're everywhere, they're insidious, they've permeated the very fiber of our humanity. They've become a NECESSITY. It's over, I know this now. My fifteen year old's schedule has dictated a need for contact at odd hours and strange places. I think I scared the cell phone guy a little bit when we went into the store to take the big leap. Before I signed, picked out or paid for anything, I laid out some very clear and intractable rules regarding the use and care of the devices we were about to purchase.

Rule #1: If mom or dad call, you will answer immediately. No other calls are more important.
Consequence for violation: I take the phone away.

Rule #2: Between 8:20am and 3:20pm Monday through Friday, the phone is turned off (only exceptions are days off of school)
Consequence for violation: I take the phone away.

Rule #3: You will stay within your plan minutes.
Consequence for violation: I take the phone away.

You may have picked up on a recurring theme for violations. Simple enough and clear as a bell. The cell phone guy noted aloud that I am a bit of a hard ass, I take that as a compliment at this point. It took my son three whole days before losing the phone the first time. Silly boy came home from school and when I said "Hey let me see your phone for a sec." handed it over. I then noted aloud that he'd sent messages at 10:14 am and again at 1:22 pm...I had two phones in my purse for a week. I think he knows I'm not kidding.

I will admit that having a cell phone is handy and annoying at the same time. There are times when I prefer no one can reach me and I rather like being completely alone with nothing but my thoughts in the car. But calling from the grocery store to find out the toilet paper status before purchasing more is also a bonus. The best thing I suppose, is that I can yell at my kid without anyone knowing I'm yelling at my kid. Texting is a bit like magic, I suppose.

My conversion is almost complete, I have yet to sacrifice grammar, spelling or punctuation to the gods of text messaging and will resist them to my very last breath. They may have won the battle, but I will never never surrender this particulat war. I refuse to substitute 'U' for 'you', 'CYA' for 'see you' and 'l8r' for later. They will have to pry my commas and periods from my cold dead fingers.