Tuesday, November 24, 2009

What Is Going On Here?

I find myself perplexed of late. People, who I thought had lost the power to surprise me, consistently do that very thing. In the past couple of months, I have experienced the length and breadth of human behavior. Some has been good, beyond what words might adequately describe. Some so mind-bogglingly stupid it seems to rip through the very fabric of time and space. There has even been some that's nothing but plain old bully in the schoolyard, push the nerd into the mud puddle and steal his lunch money mean. And this from those who are biologically adults.
I start with our previous landlord who, upon giving us very little notice before selling the house we were living in and kicking us out with barely enough notice to find a new home. This, after the furnace dying a slow and torturous death LAST WINTER, never replacing it. We never reported the situation to the authorities because they were 'friends' and we didn't want to get them into trouble. Nice gets you...whatever.
The upside to all of this was my Hail Mary pass of calling every realtor in town with listings on the market for more than a year to see if any of their clients might be willing to rent with the option to buy for a while. The very nice lady listing the house literally around the corner put us in touch with a couple who'd moved nearly two years ago that might be willing. Not only were they willing, but thrilled to get someone into the house. Fine, we call this one a draw, the bad behavior countered by good.
The next mean people story involves interference and just plain old nastiness. A young woman I work with in the food job is looking for something new. We've all been in jobs long enough and look to move on, nothing odd about that. This particular person is a lovely, sweet, sometimes a bit scattered and as generous as the day is long. These are not bad qualities and make up someone you'd probably like to know. Upon applying for a new job (at my new place of work), another of our food job coworkers has taken it upon herself to call the powers that be and offer her opinions on this young woman, to quote "before you hire _____ you need to call me so I can tell you about her..." That's just mean. You're not involved here, you don't work here, so sit down and shut up. If it was up to me, I'd hire her just to piss the other one off.
On the silly and stupid side, I got a phone call at my soon to be old job from a new trainee that started yesterday. She called to say (and I SWEAR I'm not making this up!) "I'm just not that ino working right now." and was quitting. I actually thought I no longer understood the English language for a minute there and said "What did you say?" and made her repeat her thought. No one says that, I was positive I misunderstood but there it came again "I'm just not that into working right now." Who SAYS that? Seriously, I had an 'Office Space' flashback for the rest of the day...you remember the scene "I don't like my job, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore." "You're quitting?" "No, I'm just not going to go anymore."
I'm just not that into paying my power bill. I'm just not that into being a parent. I'm just not that into not robbing banks. Yeah, that's gonna work out. Come ON!
I would like to be able to get away with this sort of crap. I want to know how to be nasty for the sake of being nasty. I need to learn how to be completely stupid and get away with it. I want to suffer nevermore from good manners and a sense of fair play. Do they teach this somewhere? Is there a class? Online courses? Apprenticeship? Anyone willing to mentor me on my quest to become a complete ass? No? Fine. I'll continue to behave myself. Party poopers. I would have made a good asshole, you know.