Sunday, February 7, 2010

Stop SAYING That!

So a while ago, I came up with some words that just don't see enough useage. It's time for the flip side, there are words I am so tired of hearing, most of which make no real sense anyway. The word that peeves me the most right now is "staycation", this fancied-up term for "too broke to go anywhere good" is vapid and a feeble attempt to fool ourselves into thinking that it's really better this way. We're supposed to take singular joy in taking our two weeks of vacation time doing nothing other than hanging out at home and doing...what exactly? My beloved can't manage to be home on a weekend without entering some sort of trancelike state that causes him to clean or repair things that have needed it for ages. While productive, this really can't be what we want to be doing during those precious couple of weeks of paid time off. This trend of playing tourist in your hometown, while sweet, really only works when you live somewhere with actual stuff to do. If, like some of us, you live somewhere with limited venues, the appeal of a "staycation" is truly lost.
Another one that really needs to go away is"tweeting", this is something birds do. I have a hard time with the Twitter (tm) phenomena as a whole, but hearing about "tweets" on newscasts and such really kind of makes my brain sad. If I have an urge for stream of conciousness random thoughts, I'll read a little ee cummings. The Twitter (tm) thing really started to annoy me during the Obama inauguration. Here we are, witness to a bit of history, and every other idiot is "tweeting" about it instead of experiencing the event to the fullest and writing about it later. Digest, people! Let the magnitude of the moment sink in, ruminate, explore your feelings and reactions, then and only then should you share. This idea that ANYONE wants to know your every random, disconnected and inane reaction to every event in your life is narcissism taken to the Nth degree. I tire of celebrity "tweets", of politicians "tweeting" when they really should be paying attention during a debate or committee hearing. Guess what people, you're not really that crucial that we need to know your every thought at the moment you're thinking it. Give it a little time and give us something of more substance than 160 characters will allow.
Bromance? No, just no.
Anyone's job title involving the title "czar, tsar" or any other variation I don't know. Just for those who never paid attention in history class, czars never seem to have a good ending. Let's discuss the Romanov've all heard of the whole Russian revolution thing and the killing of the CZAR and his family? The word comes from Caesar and means emperor, king or supreme ruler. So we're giving people the title of "czar" and thinking what, exactly? Drug Czar, Education Czar, Bank Czar, Car Czar,Tweet Czar, I mean really, regular job titles aren't descriptive enough for us? Or do they think, by attaching a royal sounding title to someone is going to make the unwashed masses believe these are supreme beings that will bring order and justice to the chaos that surrounds us?
Friend as a verb. This is one that digs right into the exposed nerve endings of my English language freaky-ness. "Friend" is a NOUN, keep it that way! You can make, have or lose friends. You can become a friend. You can touch, hear, see, and on occasion, smell a friend. You can interact with your friend, but to "friend" someone is not possible. To friend, I friend, he friends, they friend, I am friending...nonononono! The same holds true for "unfriend". You can lose or alienate friends, as they are nouns, but to unfriend makes no sense. I blame Facebook (tm) for this one. Here is the meaning, according to Webster's dictionary: --noun. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. We call people friends, buddies, pals, chums, comrades, peeps (yeah, I'm going to leave that one), and I have never said "I'm going to chum him." First of all, that just sounds nasty and possibly illegal. "I uncomraded her yesterday." just sounds stupid.
Please, I beg of you, erase these trite and asinine phrases from your stored memory of the language and seek out crap that actually makes some sense!